TRAGIC DEATH OF CHILD AT EMPEROR’S PROCESSION
Her Imperial Highness at the Mayday Procession
An eight-year-old boy called Otto Schulz died yesterday at the Mayday Parade. Precise details of how the tragedy occurred have yet to emerge but initial reports suggest that Schulz, who was watching the parade with his parents, was heard to make a number of comments to his mother about the Emperor’s and Empress’s new processional robes. Other spectators apparently took exception to what the child had said and some kind of altercation ensued which then developed into a full-scale riot. Schulz was, it seems, crushed in the stampede.
A spokesman said that while the Great Leader was naturally saddened by the child’s death, he was gratified by the support people had shown for his and his wife’s decision to visibly stand behind the national textile industry and its revolutionary new Invisiblon fabric.
Millions of gold coins have been spent on developing Invisiblon, the most easy-care, ready-to-wear material in the world and it was only appropriate for him to show it off to the world’s media during the nation’s most important day of the year. If all goes according to plan, it is hoped that Invisiblon will create jobs for 5,000 currently unemployed people and help to raise the global prestige of the nation.
The spokesman went on to say that Emilio Imaginio, the creator of the Mayday robe, was only one of a number of top stars of the fashion world who had chosen to work with Invisiblon. Answering criticisms of the cost of the Imperial robes, the spokesman said that 20,000 gold coins is a very reasonable price for two made-to-measure Imaginio garments and that photographs of the empress, in particular, had appeared in publications across the world.
Fashion-lovers will be pleased to know that, in a further effort to boost exports of the fabric, the Empress and the three imperial princesses will again be dressed in Invisiblon at the People’s Day Concert tomorrow and it is expected that the American singer Lady Gaga and Elton John will both wear it for the duet they’ll sing there.
No-one knows exactly what it was that Otto Schulz said about the robes and it is hoped that the sad incident will soon be forgotten.
Any resemblance between this story and the enduring market for a particular kind of $100+ wines is entirely coincidental. The suggestion that too many people have invested – financially, intellectually and emotionally in them to accept that they are overvalued, by any traditional standards, should not be entertained under any circumstances.