A collection of “wine truisms” from ‘Natural” wine specialists, les Caves de Pyrene…
And my answers.

Click here or on the image above to go to the original – and the comments with which I agreed…

 Robert Joseph November 1, 2013 at 1:58 pm
A few hastily penned responses… Everything else I agree with 100%
-The overuse of technology in winemaking has resulted the exaltation of clinical mediocrity
And the demise of much filthy, vinegary wine that was widely produced in Europe in the 1980s – and gave rise to the use of “flying winemakers”
-Wine journalism tends to focus on the product at the expense of the vineyard or the vigneron except in the cases of those winemakers who are adept at hyping themselves and then it focuses on how good the quality of the marketing is.
Wine journalism focuses on the tastiness of the stuff in the glass – which is what interests most – though not all – consumers
-The vast majority of wine in the world is made in factories dedicated to denaturing wine.
50% of French wine is – and has long been – produced by cooperatives which frequently historically “denatured” wine by allowing it to become spoiled by bacteria or oxidation
-The power of brands is the result of the human desire to conform and is the ultimate manifestation of our insecurity about wine.
the power of wine brands – like clothes and all sorts of other brands – reflects a normal human need for reassurance
-The average consumer is both a straw man and a caricature for much of the wine trade.
the consumer is someone in whom most wine producers have little or no interest
-The wine trade has managed to concoct a critical mumbo-jumbo which debases the language featuring buzz-words-and-phrases such as gatekeeper, path to market, SKUs, revenue channels, inventory management, UPCs, EANs…Zzzs
The traditional wine trade has created a mumbo jumbo made up of meaningless appellations and tasting terms such as “elegant” and “austere”
-Some critics seem philosophically incapable of understanding the difference between faults and flaws. Flaws are imperfections, the deviations from the norm, the rough surfaces that give individuality to the wines. Flaws are what give us our personalities. Most critics view flaws as faults and thus wine is invariably construed as the sum total of its faults.
Some “natural” wine fans imagine that flaws are innately desirable. Most people are as keen on spending their hard earned money on flawed wine as on being served tough steak in a restaurant.
-Wine judging more often than not rewards the lesser of two evils – bland correctness triumphing over problematic interest.
And it helps to raise average standards. Bland correctness may actually be more pleasing than dirty faultiness/flaws – see above
-Heavy bottles=small man syndrome
Heavy bottles =welcome gift to non wine-enthusiast
-Expensive barrels= *see above
are probably better than cheap ones – but possibly no more useful than well used oak chips, which are almost certainly excoriated by the author of this blog because of the agreeable flavour they might add to wine
-Expensive consultant=*see above
Might conceivably be a welcome arrival at a winery that’s making substandard wine
-Wine shows are more for the industry to pat each other on the backs than to truly try and determine the best wine (what IS best anyway?!). The biggest penis always wins.
Like other agricultural shows, they exist to improve overall standards. And they do. And the biggest DON’T always win
-Australians have bret-a-phobia, are obsessed with judging wine, revere the winemaker (the viticulturist is still for the most part a separate entity and a lesser being), still deep down want their wines like their morning jam-on-toast, and take wine far more seriously than their laid back personas portray
They don’t like wine that smells and tastes of stable floors. How strange of them!
-The Margaret River is overrated (gasp shock horror!)
So is Bordeaux. So what?
-An astonishing number of wines are returned in restaurants and returned from restaurants to suppliers as “corked.” When they are out of condition, they are often oxidised, sulphurous or sporting a variety of faults – but not corked.
No, they’re not faulty. They’re fascinatingly “flawed”. See above

  1. Spot on as always Robert. I especially liked the tough (or should that be 'flawed') steak comment. Most consumers simply want a wine that they know they will enjoy, hence the importance of the label or brand.

  2. Spot on as usual Robert. I especially liked the tough (or should that be 'flawed') steak comment. Most consumers simply want to buy a wine that they know they will enjoy, hence the importance of the label or 'brand'

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